joke

[graeme]

The Queen was visiting one of London's
top hospitals and she specified

>>she wanted to see absolutely everything.
>>
>>During her tour of the floors she passed
a room where a male patient
>>was wanking. "Oh my!", said the
Queen, "That's disgraceful, what is
>>the meaning of this?" The Doctor
leading the tour explains; "I am
>>sorry your Majesty, but this man has a
very serious medical condition
>>and is only following doctors orders. His
body produces too much semen

>>and his testicles keep overfilling. Until
we can find out exactly what

>>is causing this problem he's been
instructed to do that at least 5
>>times a day or there is a danger that his
testicles will explode, and
>>he would die instantly. "Oh, I am
sorry", said the Queen.
>>
>>On the next floor they passed a room
where a young nurse was giving a
>>patient a bl*w-job "Oh my
goodness!", said the Queen, "What on
earth
>>is happening in there?"
>>
>>
>>
>>The Doctor replied,
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>"Same problem, but he's with
Bupa".

[easy]

thats nearly as bad as this one! :roll:


> Stevie Wonder is playing a gig in Tokyo. . . .
>
> He's just finished playing his Seventies classic Sir Duke.
>
> The crowd is still going wild when a young Japanese man at the front
>says, "Stevie Wonder, you play a jazz chord, you play a jazz chord!"
>
> So Stevie plays an F# minor on his keyboard and goes off on a jazz riff.
>
> The Japanese man says, "No Stevie Wonder, you play a jazz chord!"
>
> So Stevie tries an A and off he goes with the band on this amazing
>improvised moment.
>
> When he's finished, the lad says, "No Stevie, a jazz chord, a jazz
>chord!"
>
> By now old Stevie is a little confused. "What do you mean, play a jazz
>chord? I've just done 2 for you..?" he says to the fan.
>
> "But it best song of Stevie Wonder! It bery famous!" comes the reply.
>
> "Ok, well how does it go then?", enquires the blind musical genius.
>
> The young Japanese man clears his throat and starts to sing:.......
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> "A jazz chord..............to say, I ruv you..."

:oops:

[Pete1]

Ha Ha :lol:

They're class!

Simple things, simple minds and all that i know. Any objections to me half-inchin' them and calling them my own.

I would reply with a joke, but i don;t know any goodun's at the minute.

[rj mc intyre]

what's red and invisible?






No tomatoes.

[nocturne]

That Stevie Wonder is almost identical to the one about Cliff Richard and the Shadows playing in Japan.

It goes the same way until Cliff asks the crowd to request a favourite hit.

The reply comes, "Tits and fanny, tits and fanny."


It goes on and on like this until in his confused state he asks them to sing this so called hit of his....


They bellow "Tits and fanny, how we don't talk anymore."

[mooney]

did you here what happened at the dyslexic rave?

they all ended up taking F's !!!!!

[boltzy]

ahem (geek) joke -

F(x) = 6x-3 walks into a bar, sits down and calls the barman over
"excuse me" says F(x) = 6x-3 "do you do sandwiches?"
to which the barman replies........













"sorry mate, we don't cater for functions!"

[shugalvic]

two prostitutes stood on a street corner

one says to the other " have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

the other replies " no but i've been swung round by the tits"

:D

[Pete1]

two prostitutes stood on a street corner

one says to the other " have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

the other replies " no but i've been swung round by the tits

You watched Jack Dee the other night didn't you?

[shugalvic]

of course, genius :lol:

made me chuckle

[candypants]

i was in my car the other day and i was reversing when i hit a huge bump, me and my mate got out and had a look what happened.
It turned out that i had ran over a picost. . .


































"whats a picost?"





























£1.25 :wink:

[nt]

of course, genius :lol:

made me chuckle

Was Jo Brand the worst act you have ever, EVER seen?

I was offended by her shitness.